Wash. Rinse. Apologize.

It takes a village…or is that a circus? Let’s go with village because anything even remotely clown related gives me the willies. Hell, I won’t even eat jolly Time popcorn. And the novel and movie of Stephen King’s “It”, no thank you. I would rather read that one John Grisham book over and over, because basically that’s all he did was write the same book over and over, but I digress.  The one coherent thought I was having this morning, and yes I  only get one coherent thought per day, was about how much we are interconnected.Its a “circle of life” kinda thing. I have always been a firm believer in this and even had a red rock formation built in my back yard that I use to hold my first-born aloft every morning. Well, she is now 16 and this is getting rather physically challenging to accomplish. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes, the connection of all people.

I do believe that we all have a role in each other’s life. I think this means that each one of us is meant to be the voice of reason for someone else. The quiet voices in our heads are too easy to dismiss or explain away so we need the wisdom of others to help us make good decisions. Personally, the voice in my head that is supposed to keep me safe sounds like a combination of Gilbert Gottfried and the sound that you make when you scratch a fork across a plate. Just a bit of warning. If I am the voice of reason and logic in your life, then you my friend are f@#*ed. This realization has come to me as I thought of who my voice of reason is. I know it’s my wife and I love her very much and as she well knows I don’t mean to ignore the good suggestions she makes but there is just one problem. I LOVE BAD IDEAS.

I love them. I embrace them. And all too often I practice them. Any misguided, dangerous, and generally unhealthy idea is unavoidable to me. I wish this wasn’t true. I would love to embrace the calm, quiet and normal, but that is like asking Superman what Kryptonite tastes like. He doesn’t know now and hopefully never will. I didn’t use to be this way. I used to be good. There was a time when I was content to stay where I was. To not challenge convention. To take things as they came and not challenge anyone. All that changed due to one minor event, my birth. I have pretty much been making what amounts to a long list of dangerous and yet extremely enjoyable events since that day.I envision that there will be a day when I finally grow up and make all my decisions based on logic and sound scientific thought, but the odds are that I will be killed in some sort of freak accident far before that happens.

Don’t think I like bad decisions? Here is just a rundown of some of the things I have done that wiser folks have tried to avert me from. I know air is free, but I still hate to see people waste it.

  • Tried to drink my way around an 85 tap beer bar. You know it is a bad idea when the bar owner tells you that you better go home.
  • Once tried to sweep off the roof of a garage by standing on a rotten tree limb. It worked…..for a little while. Fences do a really poor job of cushioning falls.
  • Agreeing to coach a baseball team full of kids with ADD. I refer to it as “my season of herding cats”
  • Agreed to play paintball with group of eleven year olds. Despite what I had been told, chicks DO NOT dig bruises.
  • Pretty much any time I have agreed to go have “a few drinks” after work. What starts as a few drinks usually ends up with co-workers punching each other in the face and that makes for real interesting staff meetings.
  • Going into the pit at Vans Warped Tour. Once again refer to the bruises comment.
  • The time I wore a coconut bra and grass skirt to the family picnic. The term “baker act” kept creeping up in every conversation.
  • Starting a blog. Yep nothing like showing the world that your brain doesn’t really work right.

I wish that was the whole list but that is just the things I have done in the past couple of years. However, I enjoyed every one of those activities. So maybe bad ideas are not so bad after all. And in all my experiments challenging gravity and common sense I proudly say that I only put myself at risk and generally the resulting activity usually benefits others. Whether the people around me get a good laugh, a water cooler story for the next day or just a much appreciated opportunity to say, “I told you so”, I think people like my affinity for bad ideas. So if you see me at the next RV City tailgate party or calling that phone number on the skydiving billboard, just sit back and get ready for some fun. But do me a favor, don’t give up trying to be my voice of reason. Because I really do appreciate your concern for my well-being.

And isn’t that  what us being connected is really all about.


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